Many children and even adults are bullied each day. The following questions have been answered by me and they are some of the most commonly asked questions about bullying. I hope you find these questions helpful. If you have suggestions or ideas that could be added to my answers feel free to comment. Remember, nobody has the right to bully other people, and nobody deserves to be treated like a victim.
1. What is bullying?
Bullying is persistent and harmful behaviour that is repeated over and over. It is aimed at another person or group of people, mainly if they are different to the bully. The person on the receiving end of bullying can feel down/depressed, lose their confidence, feel undermined and have low self esteem. Bullying is consistent in every situation.
2. What are the main types of bullying?
Racial = The person is bullied for being a different race or religion or for having different beliefs.
Mental = The bully can get inside the victim's head and this can have a big impact on the victim emotionally.
Physical = The victim is physically hurt whether that's by punching, kicking or hitting. This can lead to fighting and violence.
Verbal = This can be shouting abuse at the victim or calling them names.
Cyber = This can happen either on the internet or by mobile phone. The bully can get to the victim through chatrooms such as MSN, or social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Bebo and Twitter.
3. How common is bullying?
Bullying is actually quite common and is more common than more people think. It comes in many forms (see question 2) and doesn't just happen within schools, but outside of school and even at work in adult's cases.
4. I am being bullied, where can I get help?
There are many people you can go to for help and support. Tell an adult you trust like a parent/guardian or a teacher or you could tell a friend you really trust or a peer mentor/buddy. All of these people have been trained to deal with situations like bullying and they can keep what you say private and confidential. Alternatively, you could call or email a service like Childline.
5. Why me? Why am I being picked on?
Most likely it isn't something you have done to cause this bully to pick on you. There are many reasons for it like the bully wanting to feel 'big' and 'tough' by picking on someone more vulnerable due to issues in their own life making them feel insecure. It still doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like this by them but in most cases of bullying, there is always a reason. Just remember it is not your fault and nothing is wrong with you.
6. I don't deserve this, I'm a nice person, what can I do about it?
You must tell somebody and receive help and support. Your teachers aren't just there to teach you but to guide you through issues like bullying. Nobody deserves to be bullied and it does feel worse when you have always been a nice person, but bullies don't pick and choose. For definite though, tell an adult or someone you trust and work out a plan to deal with the situation. All victims of bullying are entitled to help.
7. I don't know how to fight back, what shall I do?
If you stand up to the bully personally and fight back, it will only create more problems and it won't solve anything. You will only come out worse if you physically or verbally fight back. Don't react by yourself, tell a teacher and they can help solve the problem in a more calm and controlled way.
8. How did it get to this point? Why did I let it happen to me?
You mustn't blame yourself for a situation like this. Many people believe that bullying will just go away by itself but that is very unlikely to happen. You have the power to stand up, speak out and end bullying. Remember, it's never too late to stop bullying.
9. The bullying is so bad that I'm starting to feel ill, what shall I do?
No one should have to feel so bad about their situation that they become ill. That is unacceptable. There are so many people you can trust like peer mentors and teachers and even friends and relatives. You may think it will make things worse by telling one of them but by reporting bullying, it can only get better from there. Please tell someone you trust.
10. My parents have spoken to the teachers but this didn't help, in fact I think its made things worse, what shall I do?
Unfortunately, it is true that some bullying cases don't get sorted the first time they are reported. You may be feeling scared because things are now worse, but you must tell someone again. I suggest going straight to the teachers and telling them how bad the issue is now. Tell them you have reported it once and no changes have been made and your teachers should take more action to speak to the bully and come up with a plan to sort the problem. It takes alot of bravery to stand up to bullying, but it's worse to be bullied for the rest of your school years.
11. What is the role of peer mentors in helping to stop bullying?
Peer mentors are points of contact that are around your age group. Pupils sometimes feel more comfortable to approach a peer mentor as they feel they are closer to their understanding. They may even have gone through bullying or a similar experience themselves. They have been trained by teachers to help and support students and they keep anything a pupil says to them confidential unless that pupil's safety or health is at risk or someone else's safety. They have to report to a teacher but the information never given never goes further than that unless the pupil who is being bullied gives permission or the situation is extreme.
12. What should I do if I see bullying take place?
If you see bullying take place, as much as I know you'd want to help the victim, it is a bad idea to get yourself involved. Go straight to a teacher like a form tutor, the head of year, the headteacher or the lead mentor. If you report it, they can handle it in a controlled way but don't threaten the bully or put yourself in a position where you could become the victim and get bullied yourself.
Part 2 will be on my site soon so keep looking.
Why not take a look at these websites and see how you can help to beat bullying?
www.beatbullying.org
www.bullybusters.org.uk