13. How can we help the bullies to change?
Most people who bully only do it to make themselves seem tougher and in control when really they are dealing with issues themselves which leave them not in control. Bullying is their way of getting their anger out, even if it is wrong. We can help them to channel their anger differently, for good, and we can support them and guide them onto a different path where nobody gets hurt as a result of their anger. We can talk to them and make them realise what they're doing is wrong and that it's not their victim's fault they have problems in their life. The last thing we can do is help them overcome their own difficulties and help them find solutions, because even if they have done something wrong as a bully, they need the help to get over it.
14. What are the best ways of tackling bullying in school?
The best ways to tackle bullying in schools are to tell everyone to not be afraid to speak up and report bullying if they see it. Schools should also advertise their points of contact like the teachers who are trained to deal with bullying and peer buddies/mentors and when and where you can find them if you need to talk. The best ways to do that is to hold assemblies for the whole school to spread the word and to put up posters that really stand out when you walk around school. Schools should also advertise the mentoring system they have and how it works because alot of children prefer to speak to someone their own age rather than a teacher.
15. What can children who tell expect from adults?
School's take bullying extremely seriously so there are always people there to open up to. If you tell a teacher about your worries in a bullying situation, that teacher will assess the problem with you and then gather the stories from both sides, which would be you and the bully. The bullying will be dealt with privately and discretely so classmates or pupils from the rest of the year will never have to know unless you tell them, and it can be guaranteed that if you tell an adult, it will be sorted as soon as possible.
16. What can our school do to raise awareness of bullying and make people think about its effects?
Schools can do alot to raise awareness to bullying. They can set up campaigns for anti-bullying, which are most popularly set up during anti-bullying week each year. During that week, many schools join together to raise awareness by holding various competitions within their school for pupils or doing workshops and a variety of events and activities. My school recently held a 'design a computer screensaver with an anti-bullying message' competition. Other competitions could be held in schools like designing posters, mouse mats and leaflets or writing a poem or short story. Teachers could also get involved with the pupils by hosting assemblies so pupils get to learn all about bullying and how to prevent it which could lead to pupils wanting to stamp out bullying.
17. I'm a peer mentor and someone said they were being bullied but I think they might be the bully, what shall I do?
You only think that this person could be the bully so at this stage, I would say it was too early to make any assumptions or take any action. If they really are the victim, by saying that you know for definite they are the bully when you don't, you could destroy the trust in the relationship that the person has if they are the victim. For now, I suggest to discuss your thought with the head of your mentoring system and meanwhile, until you have more concrete evidence, keep talking to the person. Explain how bullying can make a person feel and see if they start to seem guilty or even if they admit they are a bully to you. You could also find a possible victim of their bullying, as someone is bound to know something if they are a possible bully. Before taking any further steps though, you need to back up your thoughts with more reliable evidence than just your instincts. If they are the bully, it is likely they have come to you because they are feeling guilty because they know what they have done and want to change.
18. Do girls bully as much as boys?
Absolutely. Girls bully just as much as boys, if not more. Anyone can be the bully and anyone can be the victim. It's not just boys and it's not just girls either.
19. Do you think my bully is being bullied too?
It is possible that they are being bullied themselves. Bullies often pick on someone bcause they want to feel better about themselves as they are dealing with a horrible issue or situation that is personal to them. The issue for some bullies could be that they are a victim as well and they have now been driven to bully someone themselves.
20. Are there differences in the bullying experiences of girls and boys?
In my opinion, I would say there are some differences in the experiences but there are also similarities. The way the victim feels is no different in either situation for a girl or a boy and the reasons for the bully doing what they do always seem to be because of their own worries and problems encouraging them. But I think that in a girl's case it is more verbal, whereas a boy's case can become more physical and lead to more violence.
21. How are different groups such as ethnic minorities, disabled pupils, etc., affected by bullying?
I think that people like them can tend to feel like they are really very different to everyone else around them if they are bullied and they may feel like it's because of their disability or religion that they are being picked on. They may feel like the odd ones out, when really they are certainly no different to anyone else and it's not fair that they get treated with any less respect than anyone else. It is true and very sad that people with disabilities can be bullied and it seems so horrible but it's up to us to end it and not let them go through it.
22. I'm too scared to go to school, what should I do?
Nobody has the right to stop you from going to school and it is a school's duty to protect you from behaviour like bullying. Education is very important and you can't let a bully risk how well you do in school. You should take some time to speak to a trustworthy person like a close friend or a teacher who can help you. They can support you through bullying and easily work out a way to help you.
23. If I do what they want, will they stop bullying me?
If you go along with what the bullies say, then they will only carry on, possibly even more than before, because they will see how easily you give in and it will let them know you will go along with anything they say. You can't let them control you but you can control the situation by reporting it to a teacher, a friend or your parents. Again, they can really help you get rid of the bullies.
24. I'm being bullied, is it my fault?
It is most definitely not your fault you are being picked on. Nobody has the right to bully you. Bullies can make their victims feel like it's their fault when really it is their choice they are bullying. I've said this alot already, but you must tell somebody you can trust and rely on. You can't get through it alone.
25. I think sometimes I can be a bully, what can I do?
You have the choice to end the bullying for good. It is hard to not involve yourself when everyone is doing it and you can feel left out if you don't join in. It takes alot of courage to step back from bullying but consider how the victims must feel and how you would feel if you were being bullied. It causes so much misery, more than you might see. You should ask for the help, you won't be judges but you will be seen as brave for standing up and taking responsibility for your actions. You need to find other ways to be respected instead of finding respect by hurting others. You could always phone childline who can advise you more on what steps to take.
Thankyou for reading my questions and answers. If you think I have left anything out please comment me. Don't forget to visit these websites if you would like to help fight bullying.
www.beatbullying.org
www.bullybusters.org.uk